Wednesday, 25 April 2007

Countryside Alliance Townies in Edinburgh

I copy in its entirety a small article by Robert McNeill in The Scotsman (24 April 2007) – sorry no hyperlink.

He saw these apparent country folk in Edinburgh and was spurred to write about them. This is much better quality than I could achieve and, therefore, my motto comes into play: “If they do it better just pinch it and print it.”

"An Everyday Story of (Pretend) Country Folk

Spotted in the city the other day: the lesser waxed Countryside Alliance buffoon. This guy had the lot: flat cap, some kind of ornate tweed cape thing, and hideous trousers tucked into his socks. His burd wore green wellies. Was she anticipating having to wade through acres of mud in the mall?

The wearing of such ludicrously inappropriate clothing indicated that these primitives were trying to tell us something. It was this “we are from another planet called Countryside. We mangle other creatures. Up to our knees in entrails, we are superior to you.” Correction: in evolutionary terms, these people are inferior. Even neds may look down upon them. They are a pox on the countryside, which abhors them. Nothing is more unnatural than the professional rustic, particularly those in Scotia adopting the whole Anglo-Barbour rig-out in which to mince hither and yon.

The Countryside Alliance is largely to blame for this buffoonery. It started life as a front for fox-manglers but has, inadvertently, found itself having to take an interest in real rural issues, which are of little account to the urban fantasists in Embra’s New Town who make up much of its support.

As a result, nothing much is heard of the sinister organisation now, and it’s hoped that sightings of dim strutters, such as the evolutionary throwbacks described above, will become increasingly rare.”


  1. Calum, I don't wish to give any one "short shrift - unfairly" and have no wish to be "sidestepping issues, claiming that you had misread the post", but does it really matter what they wear?

    This seems a little like "clothes-ism" [I dare not say racism].

    These people should be allowed to roam about in their wild animal luxury and then gracefully retire to their pseudo-countryside once again.

    Is the tartan unpleasing in your eyes?

  2. James

    Of course it doesn't matter what they wear or what they think but that doesn't mean that I have to like their clothes.

    Just as I can laugh at jokes about mean or dour Scots - if I think the jokes are funny - I can laugh at an article about other groups of people eg , socialists, Conservatives, atheists or even pretend country folk.

    I'm impressed you found my post to Paul but, since we have been talking about clothes, if the cap fits.....

  3. He should have been accompanied by a barking, blood stained mad Jack Russell ....