A few months have passed since I told the tale of my destructive tendencies in a Youth Hostel but I was at it again today!
The entire Carr family travelled through to the West to visit the children's grandfather, my father-in-law. We were only due to stay a couple of hours and the first 110 mins passed without incident. This was not to last.
Just before we were leaving I went to the toilet and I noticed that the bathroom light didn't work.
No! I did not break the toilet seat. I'm a man. Well, I was the last time I could see past my belly. I pee standing up.
No! I did not pee on the floor.
I peed normally into the bowl and I went to flush the toilet and the button went down but no water appeared. The button was stuck in the down position and could not be pulled back up. I raised the cistern lid a little and the buttons returned to their correct position but again no flush. I lifted the cistern lid off the cistern and replaced it - still no flush.
I went downstairs and told my father-in-law. "It worked for me," said Mrs Carr and my father-in-law chimed in with, "You didn't lift the cistern lid off, did you? It's very difficult to refit".
"Shit!" I thought - fortunately - to myself. "Oh, by the way, your upstairs lights don't work"
"I'll just have to reset the circuit-breakers" and as he flicked the reset switch there was a pop and a flash. Clearly there was a major problem with one of the lights but which one? As we talked round the problem I mentioned that I had switched on the lights in his lounge. "I never use that switch."
God, how was I to know. All I wanted was to bring light to the room and I trip all the bloody lights.
We didn't stay. We left with the house largely in darkness and with no flushing toilet.
Will I be welcome back at my father-in-law's?
Will I be welcome anywhere?