Thursday, 18 February 2010

David Cameron: Irish or Scottish?

Last December I posted about Cameron’s hidden Scottish background.  You don’t need to go back because I've appended the post below.

Why do this now?

There are claims that he is Irish as evidenced in this video.

Whilst the video and song are amusing and catchy the premise is wrong.  David Cameron is Scottish and my evidence is here in my open letter to him.

Open Letter to David Cameron

Dear Davie,

You will have been expecting this letter, possibly dreading would be better, given the advice I gave Gordon a few days ago but you can rest easy.  You are a much harder target to hit, a bit like Teflon Tony used to be, but I’ll have a few shots along the way.  My hope is not so much to damage you, although that would be a bonus, as to help you make the right decisions for the country.

I must admit that I’m disappointed in you in several ways.  Firstly, you have been too successful: you have made your party electable – damn! – but this is a selfish view on my part.  Many, I know, will be delighted to see a Conservative government. Other than the rich who are greedy enough to always support you the rest are poor souls deluded by your vague promises.  Here’s my first bit advice, Davie, tell us in more detail what you plan to do, should you win.  I know the spin is that you’ll do this after the New Year but ….. we’ll see.

You’re a politician, that’s my next disappointment.  When you became Leader and faced Blair you said that the country needed a move away from Yah Boo politics.  You unsettled Blair by asking serious questions seriously at PMQs.  Perhaps you were going to follow through on your promise but ….. no!   As soon as you had Brown on the back foot you switched into attack mode again and again and again.   There was no desire on your part to be serious about politics, was there?  it was strategy: one for Blair whom you couldn’t cope with and another for Brown whom you could.  What was best for the county didn’t matter it was what was best for you.  This could be your undoing – I pray – but I am honest enough to tell you so that you can change.  Did I really say that?

My major disappointment regards your disowning your Scottish background.  Yes, we know about your monied Scottish background but that’s a deception, isn’t it, Davie or should I say “Jimmie”.  Yes, your a Tory blue now but you come from Glasgow, don’t you, the blue half.  Your father was responsible for assaulting Scotland with this, wasn’t he?

Your father is really the alleged comedian and bluenose - Glasgow Rangers diehard, Andy Cameron, isn’t he?

Here look at these pics:

I’m sure you’ll agree there is a major likeness.

You were brought up by a bluenose who made enough money to send you to Eton.  When you said you were a bluenose everyone assumed you meant you were a Tory but you weren’t.  You didn’t know what a Tory was but, rather than show your ignorance, you went along with the sham and, in time and with your father’s help, you became a good stage performer.  You became a Tory because you couldn’t own up to who you really were.

You’re from funny stock, aren’t you?  Well, not really funny stock.  Not even this, it’s rather embarrassingly unfunny stock but your roots are your roots.  No point in hiding them.

Of course, it’s understandable that you should do so.  Being a Scottish comedian’s son wouldn’t have garnered you too many votes in England and so you ditched this. You hid your natural accent.  None would know you were from Glasgow.   Big mistake, Davie, always be yourself.  That’s my advice.  Truth will out …. always.

I heard a rumour, probably nothing in it, that you have your election music chosen.  You’re returning to your father’s career to use your Dad’s one hit -  which we’ve all just heard.  You’ll change the words, of course.

The chorus will be, I believe, as follows.  Oh, by the way I’ve anglicised the words just for your followers who won’t, unlike you, understand.

We're on the march with David's Army,
He’ll be going to see the Queen,
And he’s shaken Labour up,
The election's all wrapped up
Because David leads the rich and toffs' team

Can you imagine this blaring out at your pre-election triumphal gatherings?

Don’t do it, Davie!  Return to your roots, please.  You’ll lose the election for sure if you do but you’ll be happy being among your ain folk.

You’re a sham politician.  You’re not who you say you are.  Be honest to us, to yourself, Davie.  Return to Glasgow and leave the biggest stages to others.  Your father never reached the heights and neither will you, Davie.

Return to your ain bluenose folk!

_____

I’m sure you’ll agree that the case for his being Scottish is overwhelming.  Now if only he’ll follow my advice.

 

11 comments:

  1. A man who disowns his own party's politics is going to disown his ancestry.

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  2. Yes, but is he English or Irish or Scottish or .....?

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  3. Nationality is not an either/or notion, it is an artifice created to sustain tribalism; just ask those who have the choice of which national football team to play for, sometimes a choice of more than two. Cameron? He is human, I think. A bit of an out of his depth, ambitious, keen to please and surprised at where he has got to posh boy with a few endearing qualities mixed in together with some silliness. Not what we need, but the people we need would never dream of entering politics as it is currently constructed.

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  4. Nor would they get elected, I should add. The people generally get what they deserve.

    I'm in a bar drinking cider and using free WiFi, now that is what I need, and deserve. Cheers.

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  5. Andrew We can't have this; a serious comment on a frivolous post! What is my blog coming to?

    I posted 3 years ago on nationality and where I fitted into the scheme of things.

    I think nationality CAN be an artifice but it isn't always so and that notions of nationality needn't reduce themselves to tribalism.

    As regards DC himself whether he be I, S, E, W or from another planet doesn't matter to me. Pass on by DC!

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  6. Hope you won't be driving later. Just as well it is free WiFi and not free cider!

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  7. What? Is that me unable to drive "later"? The universe has a long way to run yet, and even I may live long enough for alcohol dehydrogenase to clean my liver. You are so strict Calum! Presbyterian upbringing?

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  8. I'm taking my ipod when we play golf. It's hard enough reading your words without having to hear them.

    Maximum volume!

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  9. Am off on a wee mission actually. Back by Sunday I expect. Am not planning to fly either though (at least not in the cockpit :) Bye, bye for now.

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  10. Good luck. Enjoy yourself!

    Calum

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