This seems like the ultimate!
What could be softer than wiping my bum with cashmere?
Well, not quite.
According to today’s Daily Telegraph,
“Cashmere, one of the softest and most prized materials, has been used to add an extra layer of extravagance to the sheets of paper, ensuring consumers enjoy the bottom line in comfort.
The loo rolls have gone on sale in Waitrose, the supermarket with a legion of loyal and discerning middle-class customers.
The supermarket won't reveal quite how much cashmere goes into each roll, but insists it is a "significant" amount. No cashmere fibres themselves are included in the manufacturing process. Rather, the paper is covered in oil extracted from the hairs of the cashmere goat.”
What a non-story! The newspaper has written an article which serves as free advertising aimed at pretentious arses with more money than sense.
If it’s softness you want, don’t buy these expensive toilet rolls. Buy the cheapest toilet paper , put cheap vegetable oil into a spray and then, before each wipe, spray your bum.
I’m off to experiment now!
I’ll report back.
UPDATE@13.15 Works a treat. Lovely smooth, soft bum with the odour of a chip shop.
I’m going to market a bum oil spray:
“Smooth your way through life with Calum’s ARSE-LICKIN OIL”
“Don’t soil, OIL”
but no doubt John Lewis will market an upmarket cashmere spray.