For those who haven’t read the previous posts and can’t be bothered to do so let me summarise very, very briefly. On my birthday in 2000 I attempted to snowboard in our back garden and I was successful twice, I think it was, but on my third attempt I managed, somehow, to dislocate my right shoulder and tear ligaments in my right knee. There then followed a very long description of how I passed the next 10 hours or so.
The mattress was a much simpler story. Eleven days after snowboarding I tried to pull a mattress. The mattress won – hands down, my shoulder lost.
Now we reach story 3, the circus workshop. Sit back, relax and laugh at me …. if you dare.
I can hear you asking, What on earth has he done here? Was he swallowing swords and …… ? Was he a clown? The answer to that is already well-known. Did he fall awkwardly on the high-wire and castrate himself?
None of these, fortunately.
I’m getting ahead of myself here.
During the Edinburgh Festival in August 2001, about 7 months after my two reported accidents, all was well: my knee was good and I’d had no problems of any sort with my shoulder. We had noticed in the Fringe programme that a circus school from London was running free – they would have to be – workshops for kids in the Botanic Gardens.
Along we went, I and elder child, to find a great range of activities – can’t remember them all now: juggling, balls and clubs; spinning plates; diablo; unicycles; rola bola and more. I had a go at some – I can juggle but spinning plates was beyond me – but the unicycle I avoided other than holding it for child. No way unicycle. You’re far too dangerous for me.
We’d had a great time but there was one event that we couldn’t leave before our child had tried – rola bola. You may not have heard the name ‘rola bola’ – I hadn’t until today – but you will have seen this.
This is how balanced one should be. Rola Bola is a simple board balanced on a cylinder which is free to roll but the execution is not easy.
As always children go first and, with a helper holding her hands gently, she stayed upright.
“Daddy, have a shot!” To be honest, I wanted to try.
Before I tell you what did happen here’s a very short video – 13sec – of what can happen to an expert. Don’t blink. The “action” happens in the first 1.5secs.
What chance did I have?
You’re way ahead of my story, aren’t you? You’re there already. Why should I bother finishing the bloody story? Because I said I was telling it and I am!
The helper held both my hands and for a few seconds I was upright – well, probably about 20milliseconds – but then my legs went to my left, the helper yanked my right arm to try to keep me up …….
I got up gingerly, my shoulder and arm were sore but …. no dislocation!
Ha!! You were certain that I had dislocated my shoulder again.
Ha! You were already laughing at this old fool who never learns.
Well, I tried the Rola Bola and I survived!
After this I decided that we should make our escape and return home. Driving was fine. Just a dull ache now but, thank goodness, my shoulder was clearly strong again. I was so pleased. So easily I could have been off to hospital for another embarrassment but it wasn’t to be!
Soon home arrived.
“Daddy, almost hurt himself again!”
“What now?” was Mrs Carr’s resigned reply.
I explained and we laughed about how close I had come to being seen as a fool again in yonder A&E. Ha! The old fool survived …. or so the old fool thought!
My shoulder was still achy, not bad though. “I’ll just check if my shoulder movement is restricted”, I thought. I was SO careful. Because I had to circle my arm, for everyone else’s safety, I went outside from the kitchen. I didn’t want to be the fool who injured a family member when checking on his shoulder injury.
Outside. Right, a gentle swing upright. Take it easy. Just before the vertical,
“It’s out now! Aaaaaaagh! Call a taxi ….. NOW!”
I had, at least, learned this lesson.
Only a few minutes and the taxi arrived.
Read tomorrow for the 4th episode of this saga of stupidity: The Final Outcome!