Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Struggling to Write

Words not coming easily and so posts not coming.

Will post when the words are there.

Reminds me of something written 20 years ago in a different situation an extract of which I append below:

If only I write
And write and write
So much I tire my brain
Then, perhaps, the real will come
Behind the crap I've seen

Shit, crap  -  whatever
There's nothing in this pile
That doesn't deserve
To be crapped upon
Fuck the bloody lot

Fuck, fuck, fuck the lot
At least  -  constructive
Fuck, fuck   -  everything
Fuck off  -  everyone

At least the words are flowing
If not poetically
The ink flows down
And sense goes up
And out the bloody door

Now this is pointless
Fuck the lot
This is fucking shite
So stop the fucking nonsense
Don't bother to fucking write

But I did bother to write a few words tonight.

11 comments:

  1. Calum, everybody has a non-stop chattering going on in their heads all the time. So all you have to do is write it down and, if it makes any sense when you read it, you can make a post out of it.

    Possibly....

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  2. JD - I think it may be more interesting when it doesn't make sense.

    Calum - I got halfway through that "poem" and my computer shut down. I made the mistake of using Firefox on Linux again, forgetting that it doesn't like you. Google Chrome, being less discerning, allowed me to read all the way to the final "fuck" and beyond.

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  3. My posts always make sense which might explain why so few people visit.

    I'm glad you managed all the "fuck"s etc. There was real feeling there - 20 years ago!

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  4. ... and I am quite sure there is still real feeling there.

    That's why, after all, I think it's time to leave a com(pli)ment, Calum.
    Why tonight? Don't know. I am quite a lazy commenter. Ha ha, how to go on? I may stay being lazy. All I want you to know is that - and perhaps when reading the following you will remember - I have not forgotten that once upon a time in a certain comment section you were the only one who wrote he understood my reaction, and: that I do appreciate ... that you do speak out.
    No need to write the following, I am sure. Still: Keep doing so. The stats ... :) and here I am borrowing from your poem ... are fucking irrelevant.
    The peace of the night.

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  5. Sean

    Thanks so much. I don't remember. I wish I did though: I'm intrigued.

    Very very much appreciated.

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  6. Hoooo. By leaving comments on some of your very recent posts, I see that the very blogger I refered to is still one of your commenters.
    Sorry, Calum. I did not (and don't) intend to spit venom.

    After this very episode for more than one year water has been flowing down the Clyde.
    Mentioning it was just to indicate that I am aware of you(r blog) for quite a while.
    And, following your amusing quarrels* with Andrew, (sooner or later) I had to come back.
    Phew! Before being diagnosed with logorrhoea, trying to cut it short: I like your blog, it's on my roll and if my English were as good as my German, I'd visit and comment (much) more often.
    ... There's always something to improve, hm?
    So, we shall see.

    * very probably the wrong word; but you will know what I mean, and knowing you will register my poor English with a lenient smile, I do not care about my mistakes.
    In other words: I am thankful whenever being told of mistakes regarding grammar, syntax, prepositions, idioms etc. etc..., or when just choosing the wrong words/terms.
    Speak out, Calum. :)

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  7. Sean: "Quarrels" with Andrew? I think what you mean in a bit of "banter" or friendly "sparring" or (to use the Scottish vernacular) even a bit of "ripping the piss" out of one another, "taking the mickey", "gentle joshing" or "just havin' a wee laugh with ye".... but not quarrels (I hope), quarrels are proper fights. However, Calum may come back at me and scream "Yes Quarrels! Proper fights! Serious verbal "square go's" even, but if he does so I hope that will just be a bit more of his friendly banter. When we meet on the golf course however, now THAT will be a fight, a quarrel, a no holds barred fight to the very death... (but I'm only joking there...). It's difficult joking about when people cannot see your expression, does get me into trouble sometimes... mind you often it gets me into trouble even when people CAN see my expression. I suppose that's why emoticons were invented; but I can't possibly use any of them, haven taken the pledge. Ach just assume, ALWAYS, that I'm only joking. (well, except about that... I wasn't joking there when I said I'm generally only joking... Oh... I give up).

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  8. Ah, Andrew, thanks for that. Neither as a noun nor as a verb (to) banter had been in in my (active) vocabulary.
    Now I am looking forward to witness with a wee laugh how, while bantering, both of you are trying to gently ripping the Mickey out of the quarrelsome sparring partner.

    No bantering here: You are proving a big heap of bravery on your quest to defeat all those windmillish emo§&c!ns, Don Quiscott.

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  9. Sean Don't believe Andrew. he's trying to minimise our enmity. This is war waged with words which is much much more serious than either of us has revealed until now.

    As for the golf I have already engaged a private security firm to ensure my safety and, if necessary, to break Andrew's legs.

    Perhaps we should let the police know when the match is due. :)

    Sean: Just in case there is doubt I am writing this while smiling at the thought of Andrew smiling when he reads this.

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  10. Calum,
    no reason to worry that I might be able to not understand you.
    Unlike the ordinary German, when humour got distributed I stood inmidst the Scottish delegation - in the back row.
    That's why I do, of course, know that Andrew's and your quarrel will not end until one of the duellist's is ultimately defeated; in other words - never.

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