There are many who have had the label “slug” attached to them for their slippery and slithery behaviour but they are not true slugs.
After the success of my Slug Pacific post I had a long chat with the Prime Slugster of the slug family which lives in and around Edinburgh. Nothing happens in the slug world without the knowledge and approval of the Prime Slugster.
I asked if there was enough slug talent to put on Slug Pacific in the West End.
“No”, he said. “Putting it on at Slug End is no problem but taking us out of our world and into your human world is too much for us at the moment. There are many slugs making their way quietly and slowly in your world but time, much time is needed, before we can take a full part”
He went on, “There are a couple of slugs, of whom you have probably heard, who have pushed way into your world driven by their over-sized egos ”
I was impressed by his command of English.
“One ran a slug blog before he moved on. I think it was called ’Iain Snail’s Diary’ but he was so full of himself even then that we used to call him ‘Smug Slug’. Do you now him?”
“I have come across him in the virtual world of blogs but I don’t want to say anything in case Iain takes offence. Who’s the other slug to push on that I may know.”
“If you picture this guy you’ll know that he’s a slug. He was on that “One Show” with Christine Bleakley but he’s now hosting the World cup on ITV. Always a womaniser was he.”
“Adrian Chiles is a slug?”
“Yes! Apparently he was happily married with two sluglets but he couldn’t turn away from Christine. I’m not surprised but a human - slug union takes a bit of imagining.”
“One of the problems that any slug would have on TV or the theatre is drying out. What does Adrian do?”
At this the slugs started sniggering and nudging each other: I didn’t know why.
“What’s so funny?”
The Prime Slugster smiled gently too.
“Stop this! What DOES Adrian do to stop drying out when he’s in front of the cameras and under these lights?”
“He slips into something warm and moist.”
The slugs fell about laughing ….. or as much as horizontal slugs can fall!
I didn’t get the joke.